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about
an audio piece made in 2014, made in the context of attempting to process family trauma (an attempted murder, my and my brother's experiences of severe mental illness, things that still cannot be spoken) through a fixation on the Theban Plays (Oedipus Rex, Oedipus at Colonus, and Antigone).
lyrics
[a child singing]
when you wake up in the morning
you have your fresh cup of coffee
you love your coffee so
you go to your job
hard long day at work
at the vending machine
come home, tired and exhausted
you go upstairs
[spoken]
brother, tell me, do you have bad dreams?
do you see them? the furies, and the angry gods
the ones whose voices worm their ways into your head
sometimes i think the voice you hear must be Apollo
it shattered all your hearing else
he whispers to me, sometimes, late at night
sometimes just before i fall asleep
a sound as clear as day
and i think that i have begun to dream
before i have ceased being awake
but there's a part of me
there's a part of me that wonders
[spoken]
your mind's made up, my brother?
yes, and do not hold me back
there is an avenue down which i go,
all shadowed by my father's prayers
and dark with furies answering his call
but do these obsequies for me, when i am dead
and zeus reward you with a brighter way
in life there's nothing left for you to tender me
now let me go
goodbye
[spoken]
my destruction as fate allows
it is spelled out in our polluted blood
i cannot stop the clockworks of fate
we did not see the darkness rushing toward us
up from the murky water
in a car with no plates
the madness rising from our blood like steam
knife drawn, i have no enemy to turn to
every bullet i would take for you
litters the floor where i lay howling
i am no worthy guardian
i am sibling only to the night's difficult passing
but still the sound of thunder
declares the will of the gods
the sound of breaking glass
ringing in our father's ears
all his sins around him like a blanket
no turning back
no halt in silent march
a little halter in a house of dark deeds
and i fled the ocean but everybody knows
you can't escape your blood
credits
released April 18, 2014
Some text from the middle section is excerpted from Sophocles' Oedipus at Colonus, the scene in which Antigone and her brother, Polyneices, who is fated to die in a civil war, speak for the last time.
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